Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
