its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My friends, they love my intelligence
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
