Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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