Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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