It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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