small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
