I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize