Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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