i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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