I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
