I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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