Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
