He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
