i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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