U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry about my life...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
