Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
