He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
