i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
