You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
