She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
