If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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