singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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