Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize