i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
