i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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