I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Someone came in the potted fern
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
