So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
