no, he came in my armpit
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
