Say something about gay babies.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize