i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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