He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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