So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
