You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
