This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
