fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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