I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize