Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize