The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
