I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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