You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My vagina is officially offended.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize