just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
