yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
