i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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