Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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