he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
