Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Randomize
