he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
