girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
