the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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