we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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