he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
