They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had to cum in my sink.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
