He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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