You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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