where am i from again
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
