i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
