I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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