I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
