Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
