Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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