If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize