The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
