He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize