I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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